Reflections Part 4
Here’s a few more days’ worth of daily thoughts!
May 21: Five habits I want to continue at home.
- Start my days right with a good morning routine
- Be on a consistent workout schedule
- Spend time in silence and solitude
- Have good boundaries with my iPhone
- Journal consistently
May 22: From one degree of glory to another.
One of the main reasons I squad led is because I love the American church and I want to see people come alive because of the gospel. I believe in the church and I believe unity is possible. I’ve loved seeing my squad step into the things God has for them and I believe they will take those things home with them. All 42 of us have seen joy, wrestled with the Lord, experienced breakthrough, asked hard questions, felt pain, and ultimately gotten closer to the heart of the Father. And as incredible as these 9 months have been, I’m really excited for my squad to head back to the States because this trip is just the beginning of what God is doing in them and through them. Many of their lives have been changed here on the Race, and I can’t wait for God to keep transforming them wherever he is taking them next. “And we all, with unveiled faces beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” -2 Corinthians 3:18
May 23: My day off in a nutshell.
Today I listened to a ton of Michael Jackson, sang along to my boy JB with my Racers, spent way too much money on souvenirs, ate 6 slices of pizza…and two cookies…and cake batter, and laughed really hard during game night with great people. Solid day.
May 24: Thoughts on the book of 1 John.
Today I read 1 John and was really encouraged, specifically by the passage that says, “I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.” It has been easy for me to forget the victory that is mine through Christ. Sometimes it’s easier or more comfortable to just try to manage spiritual attacks and sin patterns than to put on your Ephesians 6 armor and stand against Satan’s schemes. It has been easier for me lately to give in to fear and shame than to stand on the truths I know. The truth has felt far from me, but today the scriptures reminded me that God is love and that there is no fear in love. I’m done sitting in confusion, unforgiveness, fear, and anything else that is not my inheritance. The fact is that I have eternal life residing within me and I’m choosing to live like that’s true.
May 25: Late night thoughts.
Tonight I had a moment where I realized I’m gonna miss living life with Gap K. I mean, I already knew that, but it hit me a little harder tonight. At some points in the Race it has been hard to see past the uncomfortable things and appreciate the beautiful, simple things. But tonight, just an ordinary night, as we sat in the living room laughing and telling stories, and as we moved to the kitchen to make pancakes at 10 PM, I was hit with gratitude but also sadness because this season is coming to an end so quickly. I realized how much I’m gonna miss these people who I’ve spent the last 9 months with, who each have a little piece of my heart. By the end of next weekend we will be done with this Race and will be scattered all across North America, and it will definitely be for the best. I’m grateful for the joy it has been to lead them, laugh with them, cry with them, know them and be known by them. With that joy comes sadness and a bit of grieving because our time together is coming to an end.
May 26: Five minutes of free writing (lol brace urself).
Something I keep feeling the Lord draw me toward is the idea of slowing down. He’s been saying this to me for weeks and I’m like um excuse me I literally can’t go any slower. I see the things in my life I want to fix and change and I want those things to happen in an instant and I want to just pray a prayer and let it all be done, but apparently that’s not how it works. Wow right now I’m listening to Bonnie Raitt and I am IN MY FEELINGS. ANYWAY I guess this lil journey to wholeness takes your entire life so that’s pretty gr8. But looking back on the things I’ve worked through and seen God’s faithfulness in, I can see that he has given me even more than I thought I was getting. I’m told he is in the business of complete healing and redemption. Complete, and sometimes I want to settle for partial or counterfeit or even plain depravity. But on the way to complete healing he is showing me a whole lot of himself, and that’s ultimately what I want. A whole lot of him.
