For these final 25 days of this Race I have been writing daily reflections. Each day is different, and if you want to catch up you can go back and read part 1! We have 18 days until we board a plane to the States and the Lord is still doing a whole bunch in these last few weeks.
May 13: From my journal. 10 things I’m thankful for.
- Music
- Blankets
- Essential oils
- Good food
- Sunlight
- My health
- Desserts
- Laughter
- Clean drinking water
- Shoes
May 14: High and low of the day.
High: Going out with some new friends who live here in Ethiopia!
Low: Cleaning up dog poop inside the house
May 15: Slow down, surrender, trust.
Today on a walk through the neighborhood I heard God tell me slow down, surrender, trust. All things I’m prettttty bad at, all things I desperately needed to do. A little while later as I was sitting before him in silence, he reminded me that his strength is made perfect in my weakness. It was a reminder that frustrated me because I would rather he just fix my imperfections, but that’s not how it works. Why has God chosen to show his strength through weak things? I don’t know, it doesn’t make sense to me. There are lots of things I don’t understand. I’m loosening the death grip I have on the things I don’t understand and learning to just trust God. I’m learning this very, very slowly. I want to understand everything and I feel entitled to answers, but I suspect there is great freedom in letting go of those things and giving up my need to be perfect. I think there is intimacy with God to be gained from learning to rest in his trustworthiness. I’ve seen the fruit of it and I want to see more.
May 16: Repentance isn’t so scary.
Repentance is a word I’ve become familiar with in this season. It has become a lot less scary than it used to be. I find myself continuing to repent—to turn from—the lies I’ve believed about God’s character. I don’t think I would ever say I don’t believe God is kind or patient or trustworthy or abounding in love or for me, but my actions and fears can definitely reflect my unbelief. I’ve been exchanging those lies for truth, and ultimately life. This is something I have been doing for a long time, and I think it’s a lifelong process. “He has not dealt with us as our sins deserve or repaid us according to our offenses. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his faithful love toward those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” –Psalm 103:10-12
